Always Wanted You
by UndergroundValentine
Summary: He feared that I would use him; that I would hurt him. That I would give him center stage for one night and then shove him to the back where he would watch from the sidelines. AdamXTommy - Rated M for mature content. --Lemon--
1. Chair Sex

Wow... I can't believe I actually wrote an Adommy fic. I think I've crossed a new bored of OBSESSED!!! O.o Hahaha, just kidding. ^^ Well, this is in Tommy's perspective (As will all the chapters to follow, I'm working on number two right now since a fan on deviantart begged me for another. How can I say no?). Based off of a deviation I saw, involving a chair and our scrumptious Adam in a suit-- :3 lol. Enjoy~!

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I stirred a cup of hot chocolate slowly, holding the hot mug in my hand, my index finger and my thumb grasping the spoon lightly. My eyes followed the swirl of the chocolate powder as it dissolved in the steaming milk. A breath passed between my lips and I turned, setting the mug down on the counter. I reached over, turning the handle of the kitchen sink's faucet; I rinsed the spoon, setting it down into the sink and shutting the water off. I grabbed my mug, taking a small drink, feeling the chocolaty milk burn my tongue, but I smiled at the rich taste. _'Fabulous start to today.'_ I thought to myself. _'Fabulous, indeed.'_

I crossed from the kitchen and into the living room, sitting down on the couch. I took another drink, before setting the mug down on the table, licking my lips. I hummed happily, flitting through the mail that littered the metallic surface of the table. Letters from home, letters from recording companies, letters from fans— most were addressed to the band entirely or to Adam. I smiled, though sadness touched the pits of my stomach. Adam was an amazing guy— but he received mail constantly from fans all over the world. But I couldn't blame him, he was funny, smart, charming, sexy as a lot of his followers put it.

I set the mail aside, taking up the mug again. I swallowed a drink, moaning into the cup. It was _so _good! I smiled to myself again, licking my lips and taking another drink. If I had been paying attention I would have heard him. But I was lost in my own world of hot chocolate bliss, and I didn't hear him. I didn't hear the door open or close, I didn't hear his shoes against the wood floor, I didn't feel that strange twinge of someone watching me. I was beyond gone, and as I swallowed the last of my hot chocolate and let out another soft moan from the deliciousness, I heard him laugh.

I nearly dropped my mug onto the ground, and I spun around, hot chocolate on my upper lip, my hair slapping me in the face. His bright, blue-green eyes glittered in the mid afternoon light that washed through the open windows of the condo; eye liner along his lash line and a soft purple shadow gracing his lids. His black hair was gelled up and back slightly, sticking out at funky but appealing angles. He was dressed in a black suit and tie— formal compared to my black slacks and grey-black striped hoodie. His arms were crossed over his chest, his lips curled into a slight smirk; they were glossed with a touch of cherry, very light. My heart hammered in my chest, though for what exact reasons I was unsure. I couldn't determine if it was because he scared me or if it was the gleam in his eye and the smirk on his face.

"Hi." I said, slightly breathless. He walked forward slowly, uncrossing his arms. He stopped at the back of the couch and leaned forward, his index finger touching my upper lip, wiping the hot chocolate— now cold— from my skin. He stuck out his tongue slightly, trailing his finger along the surface, his lips forming a smile. My face flushed as he licked and sucked his finger clean of ever bit of chocolate, before he dropped his hand. I glanced away, feeling the blood flowing faster to my face as I wiped the remains of the chocolate from my face.

"Afternoon." He said with a smile, before walking around the couch and towards the opposite side of the living room. He sat down in a padded, white, bowl shaped chair, reclining slightly in it. He closed his eyes and placed his hands at the back of his head, crossing his left leg over his right. I glanced over at him, drinking in his position, the look on his face. He looked tired, but I didn't blame him, really. The sunlight seemed to be a spotlight, and he sat in the center of the pool of light. I didn't realize I was staring until he opened his eyes and was staring right back. I blinked, and quickly looked away, tucking the longer half of my hair behind my pierced ear. He just laughed aloud, and I couldn't help but smile. There was something soothing and warm about the way he laughed and how he was so at peace. It was never forced; never strained, never half-assed or tired. It was always clean, perfect, and beautiful.

'_Beautiful… Like you…' _I thought, blushing again. I glanced over at him, seeing that he was studying my face with his usual, mischievous smirks. My eyebrows furrowed together, and I smiled slightly.

"What?" I asked him, softly.

"You keep blushing— it makes me wonder how much you want me." He joked, laughing as he finished the sentence. My expression went to that of surprised, and I felt heat against my cheeks; heat that remained even as I stood from the couch, thrusting my hip to the left, and resting my hand against it. His eyebrow raised, and he started laughing again. I straightened my posture, and crossed slowly over to him, my hips swaying, a smile on my face. His laughter slowly died out as he eyed me cautiously, but his own smile did not once falter or fade.

"Hmm… Depends, O Dearest Adam— how much do you think I want you?" I asked him, bending my right leg at the knee and sliding it over his leg, curling it beside his hip and draping it over the edge of the chair, repeating the process with my left leg so that I straddled his hips and the chair at the same time. His hand dropped to my thigh, and he clenched it tightly. I ran my fingers of my right hand against his cheek, dropping it to his thigh, trailing it down to his ass. He inhaled slowly and smiled up at me as I squeezed his left cheek, my hand between his ass and the chair.

"Well, Gracious Tommy—" his lips formed my name with such a grace that I trembled slightly. He caught it, and grinned. "Do you want to know what I think?" He asked, raising one of his eyebrows again. I studied his face slowly, chewing on my bottom lip, before smiling. His eyebrows quirked together, and he gave me a quizzical look. I couldn't help but to turn my smile into a sinister grin, my hair falling from behind my ear and into my face. It tickled my nose, but I made no move to brush it aside. I leaned forward slowly, my lips beside Adam's left ear.

"Maybe I already know what you think…" I said softly, tilting my head as my left hand trailed up his coat and into his hair, pulling his head to the side. I pressed my lips to the side of his throat for a brief moment, before parting them, biting gently into his skin. He tensed beneath me, both hands grasping my thighs and squeezing them tightly. There was a pressure from him that I felt on the inside of my leg, and I naïvely wondered for a moment what it was, but I knew before long, and I blushed. I pulled my hand from beneath his ass, and slowly moved it from the top of his shoulder down his front, my fingers trailing against his erection through his pants. He shook once, moaning loudly. I must have hit a sensitive spot.

"I— thought… you said you— were…" He choked out part of his sentence, before moaning as I sucked softly on the sensitive skin of his neck. "S-straight…" He finished. I pulled my lips away for a moment, kissing the mark. It was already turning a dark red color. I grinned down at him as he looked up at me through lust-glazed eyes. If I left him like this now, he'd be mad at me for a while. But all the same, I wondered… What would it be like? I'd tasted his kiss before, and I could not deny that I did, in fact, enjoy it. But… what would the rest of him be like? To feel his body against mine, to see the ripple of his muscles as he moved, to feel him—

Such were musings that I had pondered before, but never in a situation where I had him twined around my finger— so vulnerable, he was. I smiled sweetly down at him, kissing the mark again, feeling him shake under me. His hands trembled against my thighs. Was he fighting to keep them there? The look in his eyes was of one that intrigued and excited me. He was fighting to keep his desires locked back— but why? My smile faded slightly and I looked at him in a different light. A view that wasn't of him being my friend or fellow band member; but that the man beneath me was respectable despite his desires. And in this look, this restrained animal within him, I knew.

"Maybe I lied." I said softly, leaning down and capturing his lips with mine. His hands were shaking, almost violently, against my legs. His returned kiss was even hesitant. He was still fighting despite all that I had done and all that I had said. My heart lurched painfully out for him as my hands cupped his face gently. He was fighting a battle that he knew he had lost long ago. I held him like that for a long while; his face in my hands, his lips on mine, mine on his. His hands eventually relaxed, and they slid from my legs upward, one into my hair, the other wrapping around my waist, pulling me closer to him. The roundedness of his erection pressed against my ass, and I felt myself moan. I opened my mouth for air, as he did too, and before we reconnected, his tongue slipped between my lips. I shuddered against him for a split second, before my tongue began to dance gently with his. The barriers of his hesitation began to break down as the arm that was wrapped around my waist shifted, and his hand slid into the back of my pants, gliding beneath my boxers and grabbing my right cheek. I jerked at his touch, pulling away to inhale a sharp breath.

Adam made no notion to stop— his lips found my throat, and he returned the mark I had so fiercely given him. My hands slid up into his hair and I pulled on it as he bit and sucked on my neck. My eyes squeeze shut, my mouth dropping open slightly as a breath of exhaled air turned into a moan. I felt a heat in my stomach, a pressure growing within me. The beginnings of a fire that built upon itself. Adam's hips lifted up, pressing against me, and I trembled against him. His lips burned the skin on my neck, I felt myself breathing hard, my face twisted into a look of total sensual pleasure. This was beyond any kiss he'd ever given me, whether on stage or behind closed doors and away from the stupid media that seemed to follow us everywhere. This was something that he'd been holding back from me during those moments behind closed doors. This was what he wanted.

And now, I knew—

I wanted it too.

My hands dropped from his hair— of which I had successfully mastered the art of ruining, though keeping it sexy— and down to his pants. He shivered as my pale fingers worked nimbly to undo the button and the zipper. He tilted his head and kissed my lips again, this time, though, my tongue pushed past his teeth, and I dominated him. My hands curved around the waist band, and I pulled down. He pressed his hips into me again, and I pulled the pants down from around his ass, tugging them to where my legs rested. I groaned against his lips and he pulled away, breathless.

"Tommy…" He whispered hoarsely. I moaned as he said my name, and my forehead rested against his. "The… w-window…" He choked, his voice cracking. I would have giggled at his voice, but I was too dazed from my hormones that I could not find it within me to force that kind of effort. I nodded once and slid off of him, rather awkwardly, and the chair. I stumbled to the window, ripping the drapes shut. The light ceased to exist in the living room, and my eyes had to adjust to the change of the darkness. I could see him still sitting in the chair as I made my way back, but he stood before I could climb back over him. He stood a few inches taller than I, and I felt his hands cup my face gently. The warmth of his presence grew, and he pressed his lips to mine again. A soft, passionate kiss. I placed my hands on his hips, slowly pushing his pants down. It was a wonder they'd stayed up when he stood and walked to me. But I didn't dwell on it— all I knew of was that Adam's lips were upon mine, and he was pants-less in front of me.

He dropped his hands as I pushed against his jacket, shoving it off of his shoulders with an urgency that told him he'd better move fast. The jacket fell to the floor, and I pulled on his tie, bringing him closer to me. His member pressed against the top of my thigh and I shuddered— God, he was _huge!_ I loosened his tie, pulling it off and tossing it aside, my hands working at the buttons of his shirt. His hands were down at my slacks, undoing the buttons and the zipper as I popped the last button of his shirt. We kicked off our pants and I shoved his shirt off his shoulders, tossing it to the floor as I had done his jacket. I raised my arms as he ripped my sweatshirt off of me— nothing beneath it.

Down to our boxers, Adam pulled me into his arms again, turning me and pushing me against the arm of the couch. I sat on it, curling my legs around his thighs as he bent down and kissed me again— the cherry lip-gloss sweet on my tongue. His hands trailed along my shoulders, mine at his hips. His skin was warm to my touch, and I moaned as his tongue glided along mine, just barely at the fringes of my throat. My skin was hot, the fire in my stomach growing intense, beginning to burn, beginning to hurt. But I liked it too much to stop; too much to try to ease it. It would come; it always did— the cool would come when I did.

My hands ripped his boxers down to his knees; I didn't look at it. He shivered as he was exposed in front of me, but neither of us cared. He kissed me harder as my hand, trembling, slid across his hips, gliding along his length. He jerked into my hand, and I grabbed him. He was throbbing as he pulled away, tilting his head back and moaning. I leaned forward, my left hand grasping his shoulder as I licked his nipple, biting gently upon it and sucking as I had done his neck. His hands wound themselves into my hair, one clenching a handful, the other resting lightly on my scalp. I pulled with my right hand, my hand sliding down from the base to the head. He gasped for air, trembling as my hand slid back up gently.

My hand moved fluidly, his hips rocking in time, opposite the motion. I moved back and forth between his nipples, occasionally tilting my head up for soft kisses from him. After a few minutes, I slid off the arm of the couch, turning him so that he leaned against the arm. I knelt in front of him, my hands massaging his hips. His left hand rested against the back of my head, his eyes glazed in the darkness. I leaned forward, pressing my lips to the head of his shaft; he inhaled slowly. My lips parted and I slid him into my mouth. That controlled breath turned ragged and sharp, expelled in a low moan. His hand clenched the back of my head tightly, but I made no notion or noise to stop him.

I bobbed my head slowly, and he thrust into my throat. Each swift motion, I swallowed him— needless to say, I was a bit of an experience head-giver. Adam panted, moaning with every breath that he forced out of his lungs. I bobbed my head faster, feeling him throbbing in my throat. I closed my eyes, the fire within my stomach growing hotter, spreading through the rest of my torso, reaching my groin, and devouring my own erection. I ran my tongue along his length, pulling him mostly from my mouth— far enough that I could suck on the head like a lollipop, before sliding him fully into my mouth again. His body grew tense— he was about to come. I moved faster, gently trailing my teeth against him. His grip on my head tightened, if that was possible, and he forced himself completely down my throat; my lips kissed his groin.

"T-Tommy!" He shouted. An explosion erupted from him, and a thick, sweet cream filled my mouth, trickling down my throat. I swallowed it hungrily, amazed at how… _fantastic _it tasted. I licked my lips, and looked up at him. He was breathing hard, his head tilted back. His arms were tense, his right hand clenching the arm of the couch with as much force as that he had against the back of my head. I trailed my hands against his thighs, and he looked down at me, smiling. His eyes were still dazed, but I knew he could see me clearly, even in the darkness. We had adjusted well to it. He slid off the arm and pushed me back, forcing me to lie flat on my back. He hovered above me, bending his head down to kiss me softly. Nothing fierce, nothing rough— just a soft, gentle peck. His hands slowly pulled my boxers down, and I shuddered as the tip pressed against his stomach. He moaned, and left butterfly kisses along my collar bones, down my chest and my stomach.

He glanced up at me, the faint light coming from the kitchen catching in his eyes. They were gleaming; he was smiling. My heart pounded as he tilted his head back down. I couldn't see him, only his shadow moving. But I felt his lips surround me, and my back arched. His tongue glided along my length; he kissed every inch, sucked the tip, massaged and stroked me— spots were dancing along the edges of my vision as he pleasured me in ways I couldn't imagine before. Was he always this good? Had he had practice when he was younger? No, he wasn't that old— he'd just turned twenty-eight! Had he done this for others before me? Or was this just for today— just for me?

'_I'm here for your entertainment…'_ I could hear the words I so often heard him sing in my head— the notes I played, the rhythm, the passion, the desire… everything. I remembered the AMA performance. The first night he kissed me. The first night that I had felt a change within my being— my heart and soul. My hands wound deep into his hair, and I pushed him onto me, forcing myself deeper into his mouth. My body was shaking with the pleasured delight of his actions, and my moans rang around the living room. His hands were on my thighs, keeping them nailed to the floor as my back arched and my chest heaved with every breath that I took.

"Aah— Nngh… Adam… Ahh-Adammm…" I drew out his name, feeling the vibrations of his moans trembling against my member. It felt good… No, good was an understatement. It felt fucking amazing. And by my reaction, he continued to do it, humming against my shaft even as I twitched and shook.

"Adam… I'm— I'm gonna… Nggh! Aah— harder, please…" I begged him. I could feel him smiling around me as he bobbed his head faster, sucking harder, his nails raking into the flesh of my pale thighs. The heat had spread— my body was on fire, it felt like. Sweat glistened against my brow and my hair stuck to my face. My body was shaking, my shaft was throbbing in Adam-fucking-Lambert's mouth, and I felt like I was going to explode from pleasure override. My body tingled, my heart was pounding in my chest and in the midst of my screaming his name, I came into his mouth. The fire exploded, and I felt like someone had doused me in oil and set me alight. But it wasn't painful— no, this fire felt good. I liked this fire. This fire left me shivering on the floor from a pleasure I had not felt in a long while.

Adam pulled himself up, lying beside me. He pulled me into his arms and I nuzzled up beside him. He kissed my forehead, my nose, my lips, my neck and my throat, over and over, everywhere. I ran my fingers through his hair gently playing with the ruined spikes and the stiff gel. He smiled and rested beside me, his eyes half open as he stared at me in the darkness. I continued to play with his hair, staring back at him. Our breathing was the only sound in the air, the afternoon slowly ticking into early evening. I didn't know how long we had been laying there. But I could only guess it had been a while, for the post-erections had finally died out. But there was a part of me that needed something more…

"What are you thinking about?" Adam asked me in a soft voice, leaning up on his elbow. I glanced up at him and smiled slightly.

"How amazing that was." I replied softly, before pondering over the fact that what I had said sounded really freaking cheesy. I chuckled to myself, and Adam bent down, kissing me gently. I ran my fingers through his hair, and I pulled him over me. His body was warm and comforting. He fit perfectly against me, and we were like two pieces of a puzzle. His hands cupped my face softly, his tongue gliding between my pale, warm lips, dancing a familiar dance with my own. He hungrily attacked my throat, and I tilted my head back slightly, closing my eyes. I felt a rush, a tingle of excitement and a twitch in my body— I smiled. He bit down on a part of my skin, sucking hard, his tongue flicking over and over against it. My back arched, my chest pressed up against his. A new wave of desire hit me square in the face, and a moan poured itself from my throat.

His hand trailed up, his index and middle fingers pressed to my lips as he pulled himself away from my neck. I opened my mouth, running my tongue between his two fingers, sucking gently on them, before kissing them softly. I didn't understand why, at first, he had me do this with a silent command— but I didn't question him. His hand dropped, his palm shoving my legs aside. My eyes were closed and I was enjoying the sensations he gave me. I felt a slight pressure at my entrance, and he force the two saliva-coated fingers into my ass. My eyes snapped open and my back arched deeply, startled cry escaping my lips. His lips left feathery kisses against my skin, and I trembled. White spots flashed into my vision as my fingers and toes curled.

"Are you okay?" He whispered, his voice concerned. I couldn't speak, I could barely breathe. It hurt like hell, but all the same, as he moved his fingers in and out slowly, the pleasure was more beautiful than anything I had thought before. I nodded twice, and he continued the slow motion, his fingers experienced in this art of passion. My body trembled beneath his, and my breathing was ragged. How could he be so masterful in the art of fucking? I mean— I had seen the way he would grind his hips into a microphone stand, I watched his body roll in perfect waves when he performed… But did such magic apply to that of sex as well?

Apparently so.

He moved his fingers faster, spreading them apart slightly within me. I twitched, pressing my hips against his. My shaft ground against his, and he moaned softly, his breath hot against my neck. He kissed me gently, pulling his fingers out. My entire body twitched, and he placed his hands on my hips. He stopped kissing me, he just looked at me. I worked into regulating my breathing, unable to meet his gaze for a moment. I could feel my erection, pressed against his— we were both back to square one, though this time in a much different situation, and with a bit less clothing.

"Tommy?" I looked up at him. God, I loved it when he said my name.

"Yes?" He hesitated, gnawing on his lower lip for a moment.

"Do you want this?" I paused, frowning. He could see my expression in the dark— I could see his. The few traces of light were more than enough by now. He sighed heavily, sincerely afraid. His silence was what worried me the most. I reached up, cupping his cheek in my palm. He looked down at me again.

"Adam?"

"What I mean is— _this_? Do you _want this_?" He paused, looking away. "Do you want _me_?"

I stared up at him for a long while. I knew— as much as he was out there and beautiful, he feared rejection. He feared being shunned for his actions. He didn't fear being hated or looked down upon, he feared being alone. He knew that all this glory and fame would die out or come to end, and that maybe it'd come back again. But there would be a point where he wouldn't be the center of attention anymore. That didn't bother him. He was used to not being the direct center. What scared him was that he wouldn't even be on the stage anymore, that he would be forgotten. And in the silence as I stared at him, I could see that he feared my choice. He feared that I would take him in now and shoot him down later. He feared that I would use him; that I would hurt him. That I would give him center stage for one night and then shove him to the back where he would watch from the sidelines. I leaned up, and kissed him gently, before pulling away.

"I've always wanted you, Adam. Since the day we met. And that want only grew faster when we performed 'For Your Entertainment' on the AMA's…" I paused, staring deeply into his eyes. "Adam— I love you."

His eyes cleared of all hesitation, of all worry and fear. He bent his head and kissed me again, very passionately— I could feel his heart and soul being poured from within his being, through his lips, into my lips, and into my soul. Slowly, he pressed the head of his shaft to my entrance. He whispered against my mouth, though I couldn't understand what he said. Gently, he eased himself in, inch by excruciating inch. My body tensed, but I held back cries of pain. Instead, I kissed him harder, longer, and with more heart than I could have thought possible. I gave my everything in this kiss. I gave _him_ my everything.

He paused, deep inside of me, before building a steady rhythm. It was so painful, I wanted to cry and tell him to stop. But there was a pleasurable fire burning me. I wanted him to stop, but all the same I didn't. I wanted this fire to consume me. I wanted this fire to consume every last shred of my straight life and bind me to Adam— I thought I heard music. Somewhere in the back, I thought I heard the songs I heard him sing every day. I thought I could hear the glamorous tunes that we created so often. My heart was singing, my head was spinning, and the fire devoured my body, diluting the pain. His hips eventually were slamming against mine, and mine were rising off the floor to meet his. His lips never once left mine, unless we needed air. Which we forgot we needed until we were gasping.

Explosions were pulsing in my body; my ears were ringing with the sounds of our passionate cries. To ease my own throbbing pain, his hand stroked me as he moved. My body was so hot that the sweat that glistened evaporated. I was trembling as he touched me, moving faster within me. I couldn't even feel the pain anymore, only the sensual touch with every feathered kiss and stroke. I came into his hand and on his stomach as he came into me. I watched him lick his hand and arm clean. I wiped the cum from his stomach with a finger, feeding it to him as if it was whipped cream. He lay, breathless, upon me for a long while, before slowly pulling himself out of me. I stifled a cry, and it was over as soon as it began.

Gently, he stood, lifting me to my feet. I stumbled against him, unable to move my legs. My ass was aching with a throbbing that I knew I would be feeling for several days. Slowly, he helped me to the couch, snuggling down with me beside him. He snatched the blanket from the back, draping it over us. His arms wound themselves around me, and I turned, burying my face into the crook of his neck. He brushed my hair out of my face, the action lulling me to sleep. Before drifting into dream land, filled with warm darkness and my love, I heard him whisper.

"I love you too, Tommy…"

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Hope you liked it! :D


	2. Tub Sex

Wee chapter two! this one's almost 420 words longer than the first chapter (it's like, 419 methinks). More sex. Hahaha. The sex'll die off for a little bit after this, but not long. I promise, it'll come back. But there's more to this story than hardcore buttsex every chapter, lol. ^^

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My eyes slid open slowly, and I shifted, feeling warm, familiar arms around me. I smiled, and turned my head, seeing Adam's sleeping body rise and fall with every breath he took. His face was nuzzled into my shoulder, his hair draped over and tickling my neck. His soft breathing washed over my skin, warming it. I must have rolled over in my sleep, for I remembered that I had been facing him, and now I lay with my back pressed against his chest. But I didn't mind it. I was in his arms, and for that moment in time, that was all I cared for. My eyes closed, and my head swam through the memories of before. It had been so… _right_… to be in his arms, to feel his kiss, and to…

Heat washed over my face as he shifted behind me, a certain muscle of his pressing against my thigh. I'd almost forgotten we were naked— lying on a couch in the living room of the condo. I smiled and rolled over slowly, so as to not disturb him, but there was a burning pain in my backside, and I sighed heavily. But I _didn't mind it_; I smiled again. I buried my face into his chest, his head resting against mine. He was so cute when he slept. I smiled again, reaching up and curling his messy hair with my fingers. He shifted again, and his eyes opened slowly. He blinked, confused for a moment, before a soft, sweet smile stretched over his lips. I stared up at him for a long moment, my hand resting in his hair. He tilted his head down, and kissed me gently, his tongue gliding along my lower lip. I opened my mouth slowly, and shivered as he tongue slid inside, searching the inner walls before finding my own.

I shivered against him, moaning softly as his hands trailed down my back, his fingers like feathers against my skin. He pulled me closer to him, his leg sliding over mine. We shifted, and he was lying flat on his back, myself pressed above him. His hands continued to glide up and down my back, occasionally grabbing my ass and giving it gentle squeezes. I giggled against his lips. He smiled, pulling away from me. I rested my forehead against his, and we sat there like that for a long moment. Just us and the complete silence of the condo. It was nice that the other band mates were out with their families on the day off. If any of them walked in— this would surely be an awkward situation to explain.

Adam leaned up, kissing my collar bones, my neck, and my jaw. I exhaled a heavy breath, my skin tingling where his lips touched me. Did every single one of his touches make me feel this way? _'Absolutely…' _I thought to myself with a slight smile as he left butterfly kisses on my shoulders. I felt a twitch as his hands rested on my hips, his teeth biting into a small spot at the crook of my neck. I gasped, closing my eyes, and drawing out a breath that turned into a low moan. Adam chuckled dark against my skin, trailing his tongue and sucking hard. I tensed above him, one hand clenching the cushions of the couch, the other clenching his right arm. He continued this for what seemed like forever. Every time he sucked, licking the mark, my body would tremble, and I felt shivers running down my back.

I was on fire— I was on fire and I was enjoying it more than I could have ever thought I would before. Adam's lips moved to mine and he kissed me with such a passion that my head was spinning; I had to hold onto him in order not to fall off of him. My black-painted nails dug into his shoulders, and groaned against my lips. I smiled, sliding my hands up and cupping his face gingerly. His arms tightened around me for a moment, before he let go. He clenched the couch in his hands, sitting up slowly. I shifted, wrapping my legs around his waist as he sat up fully. His lips never once left mine, his fingers lightly tracing circles into my bare arms. My skin tingled with fire, his fingers like a warm summer kisses. His tongue danced passionately with mine, gliding and caressing against it and the inner walls of my mouth. I trembled against him. He pulled away for a moment, breathless.

"Nngh— Tommy… I need a shower… I'm sure you do too." I silenced him with another kiss, pulling him closer to me; closer to my heart. I didn't want to move from our spot on the couch, but he was right. We both needed to clean up. We had a bit of a day ahead of us, involving visiting family, friends, and talking with the agent about tours and gigs. All of which I could live without for another day, but I knew Adam was looking forward to it. He had been talking about it for the past week, and most likely would have continued ranting and raving about it before our episode the evening before. I moaned into his lips, my tongue gliding along his lips. He parted them, and I invaded his mouth, hungry to taste him.

We broke away just for a quick breath of air, before he kissed me again. His hands slid down my body, gently cupping my ass. I shivered, and he lifted me up into his arms, swaying slightly. He walked slowly, kissing me, squeezing me, and pressing his entirety against me. Heat and pressure were building into my stomach; such a familiar intensity that I had felt before just yesterday. Was it really only so short a time ago? No… surely, it was a lifetime ago, the flairs of passion and the sounds of his melodious voice crying my name. It couldn't have been yesterday. But the returning jolts of pain reminded me that it had been yesterday.

He pulled his lips from mine, attacking my throat. He bit down upon a sensitive spot, the opposite side of my neck. I tensed against him, a shiver jolting my back. I felt a tremble in a lower region, and I thrust my hips forward, shoving myself against Adam. He moaned into my neck, and I felt him grow hard. I exhaled a loud, ragged breath as he sucked on my skin, slamming my back against a wall. I didn't know where we were going, but I didn't care. My skin was burning, my back arching, and my erection was pressing into Adam's own hard member. We could fuck on the balcony of the fucking condo and I wouldn't have cared— just as long as I was fucking Adam, and only Adam.

We moved again, his lips pressed against mine, and he held onto me with one arm, his free hand fumbling with a door knob. We slid into a different room, and by the chilled atmosphere and the soft light, I registered easily we were in a bathroom. He paused, swinging the door shut and closing it, flicking a light switch. Warm light washed around us, casting glows and shimmers against the bathroom. I reached over after a moment, grasping the door knob. My fingers slid to a metal sliver, and I turned it, locking the door. Adam smiled against my lips. He walked forward into the master bath, setting me down upon the edge of the Jacuzzi-like tub. It was huge, with a shower curtain of forest green and teal colored stars. He pulled his lips from mine, turning and shoving the hot faucet to the left, steaming water spilling into the white tub. I reached over and grabbed his face, turning him back towards me and kissing him again. He moaned as my tongue slid between his lips, slick and cool against his.

I leaned back slowly, falling into the tub and pulling Adam with me. Scalding water splashed against our skin, and I muffled a startled cry into his lips. He moaned, tugging gently on my hair, pressing my back into the bottom of the tub. Water sloshed up and around my shoulders, slapping against my neck and soaking my hair. His fingers slid down my body, warm from the water. He thrust his hips against mine and I pulled away from his lips, tilting my head back as his teeth clamped onto my nipple. Water splashed on my face as I let out a low moan, deep from my throat. I ran my fingers through his hair, pulling on it with force. He groaned against my skin. The water level rose around us at a rapid speed, and I suddenly loved the extra money we threw in for the double faucet deal. It had seemed like a stupid idea at first, but with the scorching crystal waters heating my skin, I suddenly thanked the contractor for it.

My hair was soaked, water slopping up against my face as Adam pressed me against the bottom of the massive tub. His tongue was sweet in my mouth, like a sugary treat. I smiled as he pulled away from my lips, lifting me up into a sitting position. He tilted his head down, kissing the side of my throat so gently; I thought that he hadn't done it at all. But his lips were warm to my skin, warmer than the water, warmer than the blood rushing through my veins. My head was spinning, my heart was pounding so violently in my chest. My body trembled against his as he shifted, shutting off the water. It sloshed about three inches from overflowing, steam billowing around us and into the air of the bathroom. Adam reached over, grabbing a bar of soap and a sponge from the edge of the tub. He dipped them into the tub, rubbing the soap along the sponge.

I swirled my fingers through the water, feeling him press the sponge to my shoulders. I closed my eyes as he made circles into my back, washing my skin gently. I smiled to myself, dipping my hands into the water again. The sponge traveled over my right shoulder. Adam slid closer, softly placing his palm on my left shoulder, and dropping the sponge down my chest. His breath tickled my neck as his hand lightly clenched the foamy material, scrubbing gently along my collar bones and over my nipples. The hand clenching the sponge dropped, and ran along my skin just above the water's surface. He kissed the back of my neck gently, a light touch. I smiled, and turned my head, brushing my lips against his for a soft moment in time, before I kissed his cheek.

"You're so cute…" He said with a soft voice. I laughed aloud, kissing him again. It was sweet, chaste, short but beautiful. It left me with butterflies in my stomach, and he slid the sponge up and over to my back again, rubbing lightly. I dropped my head, letting Adam massage me. He set the sponge aside and scooped water into his palms. He let the crystals slide between his fingers, splashing down my skin, washing away the soap. The water was warm against me, and I exhaled a soft breath, trembling. Adam chuckled, rinsing off my back and my front, before kissing my shoulders gently. His hands were smooth and soft, stroking my hips beneath the water's surface. He slid closer to me, his hips pressed against mine, his hands trailing against my thighs. I tilted my head back, resting it on top of his shoulder. He smiled, kissing my cheek.

He wrapped his arms around me, the water sloshing against our waists, steam billowing into our faces. Adam reached over, and pressed a button on the bathroom stereo, which rested on a shelf beside the tub. A safe distance away from getting too wet, but close enough to be in reach. A soft tune hummed a melody, one that I did not remember well, though I knew I'd heard it before. But there was a comforting beauty to it, and I swayed to it slightly in Adam's arms. A warm voice filled the bathroom, and I remembered the song and the artist. I smiled, and turned my head to face the black-haired man behind me. His eyebrows knitted themselves together, and he smirked a curious look at me.

"_Fields of Gold_?" I asked him. He blinked and laughed.

"What? It's a beautiful song." He said, pressing his lips to my cheek. I blushed, nuzzling into him.

"Oh, I have no doubt. I just never anticipated you being a Sting fan." I said. He laughed against my skin, before exhaling a breath. We slid back, and he leaned against the wall, myself tucked into his arms. Cozy in the tub with the hot water sitting above our bodies; I smiled and closed my eyes slowly. I hadn't been this comfortable in a long time. Sure— I'd only known Adam for a good few months now, but for some reason, the shortness of our acquaintanceship didn't bother me. Normally, it took time for me to get to know people, and it took even longer for me to trust them. But there was something natural about Adam that I could connect with. There was a part of him that I could trust easily, without fear.

I felt his heartbeat pounding into my back. I smiled wider, before letting it fade as my body relaxed against his. It intrigued me that we had woken up this morning and made out something fierce, and now we were here; relaxing in a large tub, listening to Sting with scalding hot water swirling around us with every slight movement that we made. I resisted the urge to laugh. I wasn't sure if we were moving too fast or if we were just reckless people. 'Must be a little bit of both…' I thought to myself as I shifted against Adam. His deadened erection pressed against my entrance and I felt him twitch. I shivered, letting out a long, slow breath from between my lips.

"Liked that, did you?" He whispered into my ear. I smirked, and opened my eyes, turning my head to face him. A mischievous grin was on his lips, his eyes alight with a fire that was all too familiar for his mood. He thrust his hips into my backside, his member alive and grinding against me. I moaned, closing my eyes and leaning my head back onto his shoulder. He thrust up into me again, obviously trying to force himself into me. My body shivered despite the hot water that swirled around us. My hands clenched the edge of the bathtub and his thigh, beneath the water. He groaned against the back of my head, reaching over and pressing another button on the stereo. The song changed abruptly— to one that was beyond familiar. It was second nature. I opened my eyes, and turned to him, pausing.

"Really?" I asked, with a smile. He grinned, and shoved me forward, up onto my knees. I clenched the edge of the tub, water spilling off of my hips and pooling around my palms, sliding down the outside. He positioned himself behind me; for easy, comfortable access. He kissed my back, before reaching over and grasping my chin, turning my head ad capturing my lips. His tongue forced itself into my mouth, dancing with mine for a moment before he pulled away.

"You like it." He said, thrusting his hips forward as his voice ripped from the stereo. My backside exploded in painful, passionate pleasure. It was an intriguing experience, before my mind went into overload. I was hearing Adam's grunts as he moved inside of me, as well as his voice serenading me with the tune of our first kiss. But as my head tipped back, resting on his shoulder, I forgot that there was music. I forgot that there was water. All I knew and cared for was the way Adam felt inside of me; how beautiful his moans were, rumbling against my back from within his chest. I trembled as he rocked his hips into me, my fingers tightening their grip on the tub's edge.

Adam's hands rested on my hips, clenching them tightly. My breathing was ragged as he pushed deep, hitting a sensitive spot. I jerked, arching my back. One of his hands lifted and turned my head, and he kissed me gently. My senses, tingling with his sex, were warmed and relaxed. The sound of the music washed into my ears, and I was hit with a lyric that was too coincidental for this moment in time, it actually made me giggle. "_No escaping when I start, once I'm in I own your heart…_" Adam chuckled as he pulled away from my lips, and sang along into my ear as he continued pounding into me.

"…_Oh… Do you know what you got into? Can you handle what I'm 'bout to do? Cause it's about to get rough with you— I'm here for your entertainment! Oh… I bet you thought that I was soft and sweet; you thought an angel swept you off your feet. Well, I'm about to turn up the heat— I'm here for your entertainment!_" I inhaled sharply as he hit a most sensitive spot within me— once… twice… aah! Three times… Damn he was good. I moaned, biting down on my lip, my eyes squeezed shut. His hands traveled up my hips, sliding up my chest and my back. His right palm, cupped my cheek, pulling my face to his as he kissed me gently, his hips softly rocking into mine with each thrust. His left hand rested back down onto my hip. He pulled his lips from mine, and I nuzzled my face against his for a moment as he pushed up into me again; he twitched, throbbing with a burning erection. I moaned, closing my eyes. I could feel him smiling against me.

All I could feel was heat. Heat in my face, heat in my chest, heat in my ass— oh, God was there heat in that region! But it was a beautiful, passionate, pleasurable heat that I craved. Adam was all too willing to quench the burn with his kiss and with his… My thoughts were cut short as he pressed his lips to mine again; the song had long since changed. I recognized Monte's guitar playing and Adam's delicious voice. But the song— it, in itself, wasn't fit for the moment between us, with his shaft buried into my ass, his lips pressed unto mine. The lyrics, beautiful though, made me want to cradle him in my arms and hold him there, reassure him that he could cry. His lips were soft, feathery and gentle. I turned my head away, leaning against his shoulder as his hips slowed in their movement. We were far from done, but we were going slow and steady now… Passionate instead of rough…

"_Yeah, it's plain to see that baby you're beautiful, and there's nothing wrong with you. It's me, I'm a freak— but thanks for loving me, 'cause you're doing it perfectly. Yeah there might have been a time when I would let you slip away, but I wouldn't even try, and I think you could save my life…_" I wasn't even aware he was singing to me at first, but the sound of his crisp voice trailed itself into my ear, and I stared at the ceiling, listening as he sang to me. I felt like I was floating— floating in his arms, his voice wrapping around me like a blanket. I was warm— so warm… I released a soft giggle, letting it bubble and surface. Adam chuckled into my ear as the song changed again— _Strut_.

Adam shifted against me, and I moaned. "Baby— water's getting cold, and everyone's gonna be back soon…" He said. I sighed, reluctantly opening my eyes. The floating vision faded slowly. It was sweet— I wanted to hold tightly onto it, and never let it go. The sensation of Adam around me, in me, with me… I was at peace, I was comfortable… But the reality that we had agents to meet with, fans to take pictures with, family to visit, gigs to perform… The reality was that we couldn't have much time for just… _us_…

"Ngh… Alright…" I said softly. Adam leaned forward and kissed my cheek, before tilting his head and easing his lips to my throat and my neck. He reached over again, pressing a button on the stereo. Six clicks— a new song played. One that I knew well. One that I had heard many times before. I smiled as he kissed my shoulder gently, his lips traveling up my skin and to the back of my neck. He massaged my hips slowly, adding pressure little by little as the song built, Adam's deliciously chocolate voice washing around my body and in and out of my soul. I dropped my head back, resting it on Adam's shoulder as he leaned in close to my ear.

"Ready?" He asked as the song swelled. I nodded. The chorus hit— and so did he. My eyes squeezed shut as he slammed into me repeatedly, in time with the music. He groaned at first, but before long, through breaths, Adam was singing along with his own voice. He dripped with cool ecstasy as his hips pounded into mine from behind, his shaft pulsing with his heartbeat through delicate and sensual skin. His right hand slid from my hip, down my front. His gentle fingers trickled against my own member, rubbing the head, tickling the base. I shivered and trembled against his as he continued singing in my ear.

Water splashed violently against us, spilling over the edge of the tub and onto the floor. Even with the cooling crystals, our bodies were hot enough to compensate— it actually felt nice for a temperature change. Excruciating fire blistered my abdomen, raged in my ass, and devoured my body. I wanted to scream— I think I did. My mouth was open, but I was barely aware of any sound that I was making. Was I making a sound? Or was it just Adam's voice, singing sinful delight in my ear like it was sweet nothings? I panted, heavily, registering a moan escaping my throat. Aahh… There… He hit the spot again and again, harder and faster with each thrust of his gay hips. Tears stung my eyes— nothing had felt so good. Nothing had felt so amazing.

"Nngh… Aha… Aahh— mmm…" No coherent words, no sentences, just strings of moans and sounds; what else could I be capable of when I was being fucked by the most beautiful man in the world? Adam's left hand reached up and turned my head, his lips crashing down upon mine as he pushed up into me. His tongue slid between my teeth, pressing itself against mine, on the inside of my cheek. I shuddered into his body, my spine tingling, my toes curling, my back arching away from his chest. He was coming— I was coming… I pulled away from his lips, opening my eyes slowly. He was staring, lust covering his eyes, at the wall. But he must have noticed that I was watching him, for his beautiful blue eyes refocused, and he looked at me, smiling mischievously, before moaning, and burying his face into my shoulder.

"T-Tommy…" He whispered, muffled into my skin. He thrust up into that sweet, gentle spot, and my back arched again. Over and over, over and over… I bit down on my bottom lip to keep from screaming. I was trembling, the water— colder now— splashing all over my scorching skin. I was vaguely aware of music, of voices. I didn't care for the voices, but a soft, tranquil version of Adam's voice lifted my awareness. I remembered this tune, this sensation of tingles down my spine— he'd sung this on American Idol… It was one of the first songs I really, truly liked that he had done. Not to say I didn't like any of his other performances, I thought it was brilliant! But, this one was something more…

"_I fell into a burning ring of fire. Went down, down, down, and the flames got higher…_"

Oh, Adam, you know our situation too fucking well.

"Tommy…" He whispered, his voice strained as he panted into my back. He was tight inside, burning… I moaned as his grip on my own erection grew fierce. I reached behind and grabbed his hips, pushing as he thrusted. I shoved him as far in as I could manage, and he stroked me three times in a rapid succession that had me doing full body trembles. I squeezed my eyes and let out a cry, feeling the explosions as white spots danced into my closed vision. I shuddered, enjoying my release, feeling Adam's own within me. The music washed over us as he pulled out slowly. I inhaled sharply, my legs weak. I slumped against him, unfolding my legs from under me. I hurt all over again, nerves alive and yet shot all the same. I blinked, staring at the ceiling as Adam's lips traveled delicately along my shoulders and onto my neck.

My heart was pounding— twice… Twice, we'd made sweet, passionate love. We'd known each other for only a few months, and we'd already fucked twice! I feared that this would leak into the media, that they'd know we'd advanced beyond any measures of kissing and vacations. Part of me didn't care— I had Adam, I had his love, his kisses, his sex, his everything. What did I have to fear? The stupid media? Well, yes. The media was convinced I was straight. People in the world believed I was straight. But whatever was left that was straight was only my attraction to boobs, and even that was slimming.

Which brought me to a curious thought… What would Adam look like with b—

'_Oh, for the love of God, stop that thought— that mental image right. Fucking. There.' _I thought to myself. No… That was a level of disturbed that I did not need to cross. I exhaled a heavy breath, wishing the water was still warm to soothe the throbbing ache in my hips and backside. But we had been in here for a while, and our shower had been more filled with sex and less of actual cleaning. I smiled slightly, leaning heavily into Adam's arms, feeling the warmth wrap around me as he tucked them around my waist. I giggled softly as he kissed the back of my head gently; I closed my eyes slowly. There was silence between us as the music continued to pour from the stereo, steady and beautiful. I was on the brink of falling asleep when Adam spoke.

"Baby— you said last night that maybe you lied… About being straight…" He murmured in my ear. My eyes opened, and I stared at the ceiling. What was I to tell him? The truth, naturally, but where to start? From the day we met? Before that? After that? I sighed heavily, piecing the words together in my mind. Truth was always the best; I knew that for a fact. And I knew that he wasn't going to be one to be shocked or anything by what I said, really— he'd probably seen far worse from fans. I smiled slightly at the thought, before speaking softly, just above the music.

"Well… For a long while, I had believed that I was. I only dated women through high school; I succeeded homeruns and even grand slams, to be technical. Though, sometimes they thought it was interesting I never objected to threesomes, even when I kissed or sucked the other man. It had been something that didn't bother me. And at parties, I'd drink and either pick fights or I'd make out with other men, never the women. Apparently I only showed interest in them when I was sober.

"But during college, I was at a New Year's party with my three-month girlfriend; as it was she was kind of skeptical about me and parties. She had heard from her friends that I had done interesting things with men while drunk, which I had admitted to. I'd seen pictures—" Adam gave a soft snort, but otherwise remained quiet. "But we went to this party, and as always I got drunk. I don't remember it, but a lot of people said that I picked a fight with a sober guy… that happened to be gay. And instead of fighting me, he got me to calm down in a separate room, away from the party. According to him I mumbled apologies over and over before begging him to kiss me and to hold me. And after that… well…" I trailed off, embarrassed. I remembered the words he'd told me— what my ex had told me, what friends had told me… Every little detail, they told me, though I couldn't remember it myself.

"You slept with him, huh?"

"Yeah. It had been the first time that I had received it, and the only memory was arriving to the party, drinking, and waking up in my dorm with an aching ass and a nasty hangover." Adam was quiet for a brief moment before chuckling.

"Sucky." He said. I snorted.

"Yeah. My girlfriend, unsurprisingly, dumped me. Called me a fag and an alcoholic wreck. She left and the gay guy came over a few days later, apologizing for having sex with me. I told him it wasn't a problem. Told him I couldn't really remember it. He was nice about it all, though. He didn't push me— ended up becoming one of my best friends. Strangely enough, we never dated, but we did suck off each other now and then. I guess we were friends with benefits, you know?" I paused, remembering. I couldn't, for the life of me, think of his name— it had been too long. But I remembered that he had been one of the best friends I'd ever had, next to Adam, of course.

"After a few years though, I ended up leaving. I had gotten attached to him in a way that I wasn't familiar with, and seeing him with a new boyfriend every few weeks or every few months really bothered me; I couldn't take it. My schoolwork had slipped and I'd just barely been able to graduate with a degree in music. He was sad to see me leave, but he understood that I needed to get out. So, I left. Went to California, playing and denying that I had enjoyed what my gay friend and I shared. I denied to myself that all of the times I'd made out with men, sucked off of men, and even slept with them that I enjoyed it. To hide that denial, I continued sleeping and dating women, but I wasn't happy." I took a deep breath.

"Then… I met you. Three and a half weeks before the AMA's. I'd watched you on Idol, thought you were talented and amazing. I guess, under the mask of denial, I developed a puppy crush on you—"

"D'aww…"

"Shuddup." He laughed.

"I was ecstatic that I got to play bass and keyboard for you— that I was learning your songs and that I was going to play on your album. That puppy love began to grow little by little, and when that performance came around… It's like that growing attraction exploded. I couldn't deny myself anymore, but the media was already believing that I was straight, so what could I say? What a riot it would have been if I'd announced that I was gay… But… Everything that I had believed about myself, everything that I had masked over…" I trailed off, losing the right words. An extravagant weight had been lifted off of me— I felt light. So light that I could float out of the water, into the air. Light to my sensations, but strong enough that I could pull Adam with me and we could fly together…

God, was his sex my shrooms now? Fuck…

"I see…" He said softly, burrowing his face into my hair. He inhaled deeply, quiet. The CD in the stereo finally came to an end, and the bathroom was loaded with a deafening silence that left my ears ringing. I had been so used to sound that the unnatural quiet made me restless. I shifted, a spark of pain shooting through my backside. My back arched slightly and I groaned in pain. Adam's arms tightened around me, and I could feel his concern slipping from the pores of his skin into me.

"Glitter baby?" He whispered. I would have giggled at his name for me, but I was in too much pain. I knew I was going to be feeling this for a while… Vicodin was starting sound wonderful.

"I'm fine… Just… it hurts…" I hissed.

"I know. I'm sorry baby…"

"It's fine, Adam— you're not completely at fault." He laughed. I managed a weak smile.

"Well, later tonight, I'll give you a full body rub. Maybe we've got some muscle relaxants to help." I sighed happily. Despite the pain, I felt at ease. I hadn't felt this good— emotionally— in a long time. I guess that was the downfall of being sex deprived for a few years. But I had never anticipated while watching and dreaming of Adam on Idol that I would have him to myself— that I would be the one to feel him inside of me. To taste his tongue in my mouth, his hands on my skin, his breath on my face, his voice in my ears. Adam's voice… Adam's being…

My heart swelled.

"Sounds like a plan." I murmured weakly.

"Definitely." He said softly, kissing my cheek. I smiled, before a loud rap at the door forced my attention and nerves on end.

"Oi! Quit fucking around— we've got work to do." Monte. I turned my head to face Adam, and his expression matched what I felt.

Aw, fuck.

* * *

Hope you liked it! Please review for me (If you reviewed on deviantart, let me know, I love finding people in both places, :D)


	3. No Sex

My heart was pounding in my chest. Dear God, how long had they been here? I glanced at Adam, his face a mask of worry. But there was something else in his eyes; a different kind of fire burning within those cobalt orbs that I found reassuring. There was confidence. There was passion. There was this utter sense of win that I found to be beyond beautiful. He smiled at me and kissed me gently, that fire surging into my being and warming my soul and heart. As much as I feared stepping out of the bathroom and facing the rest of the band with Adam at my back, I knew that there would be questions and explanations. But all the same, what would there be to fear?

"C'mon baby…" He said, helping me to my feet. I cringed in pain, my backside exploding in white hot fury of aches and twitches. I hissed angrily, and Adam's hands gripped my own tightly. He lifted me out of the tub, kissing my forehead gently as I reached for a towel. Handing him one, I grabbed my own, slowly, painfully drying off before wrapping it around my waist. Adam did the same, shutting off the stereo. I stared at the door for a long moment, dreading going out into the open condo in nothing but a towel. But it had to be done. They'd see us anyway, trying to retreat to the bedroom for clothes. Clothes— my mind flashed to the night before; our clothes were still strewn about the living room. My face went scarlet and I was even more reluctant to open it.

"What is it, baby?" Adam whispered to me, placing his warm hand on my shoulder. I shifted, and my backside twitched angrily. I winced, finding it hard to stand, so I wrapped my arm around his waist to keep from falling.

"Our clothes are still out there…" I said softly. Adam sucked in a breath for a short moment and let it out slowly. His thoughts were that of my own, a solid and short 'crap'. He leaned over and kissed my forehead gently. We were both nervous of passing through that door, but we had no other choice. If we had any hope of getting out and getting dressed, we needed to face them. But then again, maybe only Monte was out there. But maybe Monte, Longineu, and Lisa were all out there. Oh God, what if they heard me and Adam? There was a part of me that didn't doubt that in the slightest… I shook my head, shaking my thoughts. I was confusing myself again. Great.

"C'mon…" I said, and Adam nodded, helping me to the door. He reached over and unlocked the knob, turning it slowly. The door swung open; the hall was empty from the bathroom view. Adam's hand dropped from my shoulder, mine fell from his waist. I was on my own for the time being. Not that this made anything better to be honest, but I wasn't sure that going out there, even hand in hand with Adam, would be the most appropriate thing to do in a situation such as this.

Adam touched the back of my hand as he walked forward, out into the frenzy first. His feet sunk into the soft carpet of the condo, and I stepped out after him. Turning my head to the right, I only saw Monte leaning against the wall in the living room. But he seemed to be staring at someone else, and I was fearful that other people were in the building. Sucking in a slow breath, I followed Adam towards the opening of the hallway, where we both had a clear view of the room. Monte still leaned against the wall, silent. Longineu was sitting on one end of the couch, Lisa on the other end; their backs were to us. The room was thick with a kind of tension that I found rather uncomfortable, and I wished that someone would just fucking talk and get it over with.

I shifted from one foot to the other, ignoring the throb in my back side as I glanced up through the veil of my wet hair at the band again. Monte's face was a wall of just nothing, his eyes dropping from Longineu to the floor. They were probably having a mental feud of who should speak first. Lisa was sitting up straight, her hands most likely resting in her lap, I couldn't really tell. I dropped my eyes to the floor, seeing that our clothes had been picked up and folded neatly, placed on one of the dining room chairs. I could only imagine that Lisa must have folded them for us, for Monte and Longineu were just as much of pigs as Adam and I were. Men— even the gay ones— typically weren't neat. Well… unless they were married.

I cleared my throat, and Lisa shot out of her seat, whirling around in a fury of blonde and placing her hands on her hips. I blinked, feeling Adam take a step back. He hadn't expected her to move that fast either. We both shrunk away slightly, fearful as her eyes were accusing and disappointed. I didn't like getting yelled at, that was a common fact known amongst the group. And I feared dearly for my life and Adam's, praying that we'd make it out alive. Lisa was about as white as anyone could get, but she had the soul of a raging, fat black woman.

"You couldn't have mentioned you were together?" She said in an angry huff. I felt my face go scarlet, and Adam's fingers brushed mine again. _Stay strong_, he seemed to tell me through his touch.

"I'm sorry, Lisa. It kind of just… happened." Adam said softly beside me. I was glad that he was the one talking. I couldn't trust my voice and I was sure that my tongue would roll over itself trying to get excuses out. Lisa scoffed, dropping her gaze to her shoes before looking back up at us again.

"Seriously? It sort of 'just happened'. You sort of 'just had' sex?" I flinched. They had been here longer than I thought, but I guess the clothes all over the floor had been a dead giveaway too. Lisa's eyes were burning coldly and I didn't even have to look in her general direction to know that she was fuming. Monte and Longineu were uncomfortably silent, shifting and not looking at Adam or me. I felt my face flush and Adam sighed beside me, trying to find the words to piece together.

"I'm sorry, Lisa. We… we didn't know what you guys would say, and this wasn't exactly something we planned." Adam's voice was calm, though he was tense next to me. His fingers brushed mine again before trailing off. I wanted them to linger longer, I wanted him to keep his hand there, but that would have probably made the situation even more intense than it needed to be. Fucking hell. Lisa let out a long, exhausted breath. I guessed it was safe to assume that she hadn't gotten adequate sleep. I couldn't blame her, it'd been a strange journey since the AMA's. So, so strange.

I glanced up at her, seeing her run her fingers through her hair, pulling out the slight tangles here and there. She was a very beautiful woman, I wasn't going to lie, but seeing her angry or distressed or even just exhausted wasn't the greatest of things. I was half tempted to drag her by the hand and let her sleep in the spare room of the condo. She looked as if she needed it. Fuck, after this I needed it. But with Adam standing so close beside me (and the fact that we were only in towels, heh), sleeping wasn't exactly high on my list of things that I wanted to do. Though sex was also out of the question, I'd had enough of that for at least the next week.

"Look you guys, there's no point in really keeping secrets," Monte said softly. "For the mean time, go get cleaned up. Adam, you have an interview to do today, and Tommy, you're supposed to accompany Lisa, Longineu and myself in a conference with the manager." I looked over at the scruffy guitarist and I nodded once, not really wanting to look at anyone else. Adam and I shuffled together down the hall and towards the bedroom. I'd kept some clothes in his closet in case of days where I needed to crash at the condo, and usually on those days, sex wasn't included.

I walked into the bedroom first, Adam close behind. He shut the door softly and placed a palm on my shoulder. I turned instinctively and leaned in for a soft kiss, shivering as his tongue glided across my bottom lip. It was less of a passionate kiss and more of one to reassure me. He knew we'd be okay, but I was concerned with Lisa's wrath. She didn't look happy, but all the same she didn't understand that mine and Adam's relationship had quite seriously _just happened_. There was nothing prior to last night that hadn't been on stage.

"Don't worry, baby." Adam said into my mouth, kissing me gently once more before pulling away. His damp hair hung in scraggled curls around his face, and I smiled. Even freshly cleaned and unmade, he was still the most beautiful person I'd seen. I nodded once, thinking for a moment.

"Uh, do you mind if I borrow some of your clothes? The only ones I have are the ones out in the living room, and not only are they a few days old, but I really don't wanna go back out there again. Lisa might eat me." I said, and Adam laughed.

"Yeah. I don't know how the pants are gonna work out, though, since I'm like twice your fucking size. Seriously, Tommy, you need to eat more, you're thinner than a twig." Adam chuckled darkly at me and I flipped him the bird.

"You already know that I eat twice as much as you do. I just don't gain any weight from it. And pants? Would you mind getting mine from the living room?" I asked, scratching the back of my head gently. Cool, wet locks were pushed back and forth by my fingers and I sighed heavily, glancing around the room for anything I could wear. The bed was unmade from God knows how long ago, the nightstand holding a side-lamp, shut off. The carpet was plush, soft beneath my feet. Adam ventured into a walk-in closet, flipping on a light switch. I'd never really seen the inside of it, but I could only imagine it was brimming with leather and boots.

"I might have something you can use. Besides, your clothes are filthy. And you've gotta go with the group today to talk to the manager. You should at least be clean through and through." Adam called from the closet, shuffling around and cursing to himself now and then. I smiled, sitting down on the edge of the bed, staring at my feet. I wiggled my toes, before frowning. I needed to get a pedicure— oh, God! Adam was getting to me.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." I said back, looking away from my feet again. The only thankful thing was that my ass had stopped burning. It was merely a dull ache at this point, of which I was glad. At least I could attempt to act normal.

Adam emerged from the closet with a few pairs of pants and an armful of God knew what else. He shuffled beside where I sat and dropped the clothes on the bed, pulling a pair of jeans from the bottom of the stack and handing them to me. I stood from the bed and unwound my towel, blushing as Adam smirked, but kept his eyes on what he was doing. I pulled the jeans up to my hips, buttoning and zipping them. They were loose compared to what I was used to, which was skin-fucking-tight. But they were nice, and they fit.

"Thanks." I said. Adam nodded once, handing me a black t-shirt. I tugged it over my head, smoothing it out over my chest before glancing down. There were silver skulls starting from my right shoulder down to my left hip, with dark grey chain links running through the eye sockets, nose and mouth. It was a fucking dope shirt, and I wondered briefly why Adam would have something like this in his closet.

"Where'd you get this?" I asked him, and Adam glanced at the shirt.

"Oh, Hot Topic. I was gonna save it for your birthday, but I decided to give it to you now." He said with a gentle smile in my direction. I blinked in astonishment and grinned. I reached over and touched his shoulder. He turned toward me and I leaned forward, kissing him again. No tongue, no hair pulling, no dick grinding. Just a sweet kiss.

"Thank you, baby. It's wonderful." I whispered against his lips. He smiled.

"No problem, Tommy." He said, pulling away after kissing my cheek, and unwinding his own towel. Snatching mine again, I quickly dried what little hair I had. It was, more than anything, a way to cover my face. To hide my blush. Even though I didn't really look at it, I still got flushed at the idea of Adam standing naked beside me. I shouldn't have bothered me considering we'd already had sex twice (which I still got shivers about). But it did. I couldn't explain it though.

I sat down on the edge of the bed, wincing slightly and still massaging my scalp with the towel. I didn't know when Adam would be done dressing, but with the armful of clothes he brought out, I imagined that he would be taking a while. A soft breath escaped my lips and I felt Adam's hands slide over mine, and he pulled the towel off of my hand, guiding my palms the entire way. "Baby? Are you okay?" He asked me, his bright blue eyes concerned. His black jeans hung like a perfect glove off his hips, his toned and freckled chest gleaming with a thin layer of moisture. I smiled at him, and nodded once.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just… I'm a little shook up, you know?" I said, gnawing on my bottom lip for a moment. He crouched down, our eye level roughly the same. He took my hands in his, tilting his head to the side.

"What for?" I chuckled.

"This. Us… It's so sudden, but I love every moment of it. I love being with you and being yours… but…" I paused, taking a deep breath and looking away. Adam reached up and cupped my face in his left palm, turning my head back so I looked at him.

"But what?" I exhaled softly. Fuck, why was it so hard to say how I felt. I loved Adam, I did! But I just couldn't piece together the fear. I couldn't, and that made me upset because if I couldn't tell him what was on my mind, then this was going to be hard.

"But I'm afraid that—"

"That it's not going to last?" I dropped my head slowly, and I nodded once. Adam sighed softly, standing and pulling me to my feet. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me close to him. His chin rested against the top of my head at first, and then he kissed my forehead softly.

"Baby, don't worry. Everything's gonna work out fine, you'll see." He reassured me, and I smiled slightly, blinking slowly. I could hear his heart beating against my ear, and it was such a beautiful sound. I let my eyes slip shut for a moment before Adam's fingers brushed against my cheek, and I looked up at him in time to taste his kiss on my mouth. Soft, sweet, gentle. Deliciously Adam and I moaned quietly as he deepened it further, but keeping it from the brink of utterly sexual. Romantic. I loved it.

He pulled away, kissing my mouth again, before smiling down at me. "We should finish getting ready." He said, and I sighed. I wanted to just spend the day and relax with him. Especially with the pain in my back side, but fortunately that was beginning to fade to a dull ache. Adam let go of me, sifting through the pile of clothes before pulling out a dark blue and black plaid shirt and a short sleeved black, cotton shirt. Slipping the black shirt on first, he tugged the plaid shirt over it, smiling at me when he caught me staring at him. He walked briskly back into the closet, bringing out two pairs of socks, his boots and my Converse. Handing me my shoes, I unlaced them quickly, tugging the socks onto my feet and tying my shoes onto my feet. He shoved his feet into his boots, before tugging the ends of his pants over them. He turned and faced me, slipping his hand into mine and lacing our fingers together as he bent down and kissed me once again.

"C'mon." He said, tugging me out of the bedroom and back down the hallway. Someone must've turned on the TV out of boredom, because our three band mates were sitting around the living room, their eyes half glued to the screen. Adam cleared his throat quietly, and they turned their heads to face us. The TV was shut off and they all stood, ready to go. I felt my heart pounding in my chest as they each glanced at our hands, but none of them said a word. They followed us out of the door, where I let go of Adam's hand before we passed through the opening. I could feel his frown on the back of my neck.

I loved him. I did. Truly. But I wasn't ready for the public to know. I wasn't sure if I would ever be ready for the public to know about us. The idea of the paparazzi trying to get anything and everything, the controversy (not that I really cared about that), the… God. It made me feel sick to my stomach just trying to think about it all at once. Not that I expected to digest it easily, I knew I wouldn't. But if made me want to bend over and vomit on the ground or something. It made my head spin. And the only thing keeping me upright was Adam's firm hand on the small of my back. Thank you.

The limo was waiting for us when we reached the sidewalk in front of the condo. Monte, Longineu and Lisa slipped inside first; the boys automatically reaching for the sodas in the mini bar tucked into the side of the wall. Lisa was staring lazily out the window when Adam slipped in beside me, closing the door. The limo rolled forward, and at first it was nothing but silence among us. Adam took my hand in his again, our fingers laced. Monte was smirking and Longineu's mouth curled into a small smile at the corner. They approved, that was nice.

"So…" Monte said after swallowing a drink of his Coke. "How about them Red Sox?" I glanced over at him before laughing. Typical Monte.

"Oh, Adam?" Lisa turned her head, her eyes alight with curiosity. "When do we begin rehearsals for Gridlock?" Gridlock? Oh, the New Year's show we were scheduled to do. I looked over at Adam, quite curious myself.

"I'm not sure. I figured you guys would go over that today while I was out. Talk about the schedule and the songs we're gonna be doing." He said simply, giving my hand a gentle squeeze as the limo turned various corners and rolled along several streets. I never really got used to the layout of Los Angeles, and quite frankly it confused me greatly. Thankfully, I never really had to navigate myself through the city streets, which meant I never had to worry about getting lost. Yay!

"Alright, Mr. Lambert, here's your stop." The driver called from the front of the limo. We stopped beside a large building, and Adam opened the door, giving me a quick kiss before getting out and closing the door. My lips were burning and my face was flushing hot as Monte made baby coos at me, with a few little "aww's" mixed in for good measure. I took a cube of ice from the tray in the mini bar and chucked it at him, pegging him between the eyes. Score one for Tommy, zero for Monte.

"Oh c'mon, it was cute." Lisa said with a smile, her eyes grinning brighter than her mouth. I smiled shyly, my bangs falling over my face to hide my scarlet face. Maybe so, but it was a little embarrassing to have the band teasing me about my relationship Adam. However short it may have been.

Conversation was minimal, but Monte and Longineu were chatting up storms. Lisa kept to herself most of the time, staring out the window in silence. I texted Adam on occasion, reassuring him that he would survive the shitty interview he had to do. "It's all about the AMA shit still. They're greedy bastards, wanting the same thing but rephrased every time." Adam had said. Tommy felt bad that he couldn't be there to keep his baby company. But that would have caused a bigger shit storm. Awesome.

When the limo rolled to a stop again, Monte and Longineu moved to get out, but Lisa stayed. Why? I frowned, eyeing her for a moment before I started to follow the guys out, expecting her to follow me at any moment. "Tommy, stay here." She said, and I froze, half way out of my seat and towards the door. I nodded, and Monte shut the door softly. The limo pulled away and I sat down firmly, wondering why we were leaving the guys and not wanting to fall over in the event we were to hit a pothole in the street. Why had she made me stay when the guys got out?

"You do realize what this could mean for you." She stated after a few minutes of silent driving. I frowned for a moment, before sighing. But I didn't speak. "If something goes wrong between you and Adam, it could mean a lot of trouble for the band, for our careers. Are you willing to risk that?" I didn't really want to think about the possibility that Adam and I wouldn't work out. It would be awkward, even a little tense. But I cared about Adam. I would do anything to stay with him and stay in the band, but she was right. If it didn't work, things would be difficult between us. I had seen how he was with his exes, and he got along with them just fine. But he didn't have to work with them on a daily basis. It would be nightmarish for us.

"Lisa— let's say, hypothetically, of course, that you were the one in the relationship with Adam. That you cared deeply about him and you wanted to be with him, no matter what. Wouldn't you risk it to be happy?" I asked her firmly, my hands shaking slightly in my lap as I spoke. I had to ask her, even though it was in reference to a situation that would never happen. But Lisa's eyes were downcast as she thought, and she exhaled softly.

"Yes."

"Then you already know my answer." I told her. She was silent for a moment longer, before speaking again.

"I just… I don't want to see either of you getting hurt. You boys are my family, and I care about you. And even though it doesn't seem like it, I even care about the knuckle heads. But you and Adam are young, Tommy. Please, be careful." She pleaded with her eyes, and I felt my heart swell and expel a painful beat. Sincere. She really didn't want us to end up badly. It would mean the end of our careers. It would mean the end of Adam. The end of our family.

"I will, I promise." I told her.


End file.
